SoulMates / Relationships
I do not think there are very many topics as confusing as this. So many people confuse a soul mate with a soul mate connection or kindred spirit. The soul mate we find may not be a lover, or a spouse at all. It may be a child, or a cousin. Kissing a soul mate may be like kissing a sibling. Many people stay in an abusive, unhappy relationship because they have confused the emotional intensity of the relationship with their concept of what a soul mate should be. People also become unhappy thinking that their current spouse or lover is not THE ONE. They seem to expect goose bumps and love at first sight. People confuse great sex with great love. Just because you both rip your clothing off and hop into bed does not mean this is THE ONE. You just experienced a TWIN DESIRE, not a TWIN FLAME. Life is not a Harlequin novel.
We are all human, but to expect another to fulfill all our needs and desires is just asking a bit too much. There is a give and take in any relationship. The problem is that so many are only givers, and others are only takers. No one can be expected to validate you. If your lover tells you that he/she is just not ready for a committed relationship, HONOR that decision. Nothing, not spells, candles, emotional blackmail, pleading, crying , or great sex, can give you what you want. If you do succeed using one of these, understand it is just a temporary fix. You cannot force another to love you.
Try to recognize relationship patterns, once you understand WHY you have this pattern, you can go to work on it and change it. We can reclaim our power. There is no one in your life that you have not chosen to let in. To break my own unhealthy patterns, I had to look hard at myself. I had to let negative people GO. I had to see beyond that temporary ‘fix’ and get to the core of why I was so NEEDY. That is not an easy task at all. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, is not understanding of life’s many challenges, is cowardly, is always blaming others for what they have experienced, lies, dwells on the past, and cannot forgive others, then this person is not a healthy person to be in a relationship with. > At some point we have to STOP and forgive ourselves, as well as those who have hurt us. Our life is our choice. What are you choosing? Why are you choosing pain, hurt and rejection? You can be choosing love, laughter, happiness, and life. Remember this IS your choice. No ifs ands or buts about it. YOU CHOOSE. We cannot change others at all. We can pray, we can do affirmations, we can visualize, but they have free will and the choice to be who they are. SO DO YOU. If your relationship patterns are not serving you, then spend time taking a good, hard look at what you have created. This is embarrassing, and painful, but the outcome is worth every minute of it. >The purpose of life is personal growth and joy. This is a choice. Challenges can be overcome. What to do in the meantime? Fill that void in your life with anything that makes you feel good about YOU. This is so important, you need to show yourself, that you are a valuable person. Just because some bozo did not recognize that fact, does not mean you aren’t. What do you believe about you? Many relationships are nothing but life lessons. Learn them now so you do not have to repeat it again with yet another clown.