What's Love Got To Do With It?
Often we get stuck in bad relationships because we have fallen in love. The first date, the first kiss and our romance meters are off and running,
usually before we even get to know the person. Some people become obsessed with the new person before truly knowing who they are. Dating is supposed to be a time to discover the good and bad about the
person, not after you have fallen in love. Real love takes time, love at
first site is for romance novels.
You Are Obsessed When:
An obsession can waste years of your life. This addiction is like any other addiction and to fight it successfully, you have to arm yourself and study. You have to set realistic goals and follow through with them. You have to understand that you must be determined to recover. You have to approach
this the same way you would a diet, knowing that ‘cheating’ on this diet will show up in your body and mind and that you will be tempted again and again.
- You spend too much time daydreaming and agonizing over your relationship.
- You work yourself into frequent panic attacks.
- You never get a good nights sleep unless totally exhausted.
- You are always looking for clues to how he/she really feels.
- You would rather have than this bad relationship than none at all.
- You feel addicted to this person to the degree that the turmoil and confusion in your life seems normal.
- You stop doing things with friends, just in case he/she calls.
- There is more pain than joy in the relationship and you are glad for even the pain, because you feel that means you are in a relationship.
- You spy on him/her.
- You quit taking care of yourself and only look great if there is a chance of seeing him/her.
- You need him/her to validate your existence.
- You cannot remember what self esteem means and you feel powerless.
- You cannot enjoy quiet times alone, or only look forward to them so you can' dwell’ on him/her in privacy.
- You stop trusting yourself and your own instincts. You need others to interpret your relationship for you.
If this pattern has been repeated more than once in your life, you are sending out the wrong signals. You cannot become a ‘we’ until you are a ‘me’. You must have a successful relationship with yourself before having one with another.
Unfortunately it is very possible to feel love and lust for a louse.
God is a God of abundance, there is not just one person out there for you. Think of the possibility that this relationship is just a lesson.